Every time I visit Dr. Cassilly, I dramatically yell: “Hold on, let me take my dip out first”, and she gives me the same look that says: “I chose dental school over a peaceful life.” but she humors me – because she’s not just a dentist. She’s a warrior, a saint, a plaque obliterating legend armed with lasers and no tolerance for nonsense.

Last week’s cleaning was transcendent.

Doctor Cassilly appeared in a burst of mint-scented vapor, wielding a dental laser that looked suspiciously like something the Avengers would confiscate. She removed tartar, regret, and possibly the emotional trauma I picked up in middle school. I left the appointment lighter—not just in plaque, but in my soul.

Her technique? Flawless. Her demeanor? Serene, even when I pretended to find dip in my pocket mid-cleaning and offered it to her like a peace offering.

To anyone leaving Erin a bad review because you were late, didn’t floss, didn’t pay your bill, or treated her like a fast-food drive-thru: please bite your tongue (gently, you’ll bruise it) and reconsider. This woman once realigned my molars and my chakras in a single session.

If you’re lucky enough to get an appointment with Dr. Cassilly, cancel everything else that day. You’re about to be reborn—with better gums.

Since my appointment, my credit score improved, my wife apologized first to end an argument, and I’m starting to understand quantum physics. Coincidence? I think not.